11:00 PM – Not mad that I’ll be looking at that mirrored bodysuit for 15 minutes
10:32 PM – LIKE A BLACK WIDOW BAYBAYYYYY I’m so ready for Iggy and Rita right now!
10:08 PM – I wouldn’t mind lounging in Lorde’s luxury jumpsuit RN. Think she’ll trade me?
9:59 PM – Wow, I just want to sleep in Nicki’s white fur boa situation right now.
9:38 PM – Sam Smith keepin’ it classic and clean in Calvin Klein–also melting my heart.
9:36 PM – Congrats, Ariana! On your Moonman and on looking so good in that itsy bitsy mini ;)
9:23 PM – OMG someone needs to GIF that Miley reaction PLZ.
9:21 PM – Ok, Taylor with the Sweet Charity ref, I see you!
9:15 PM – So glad we get to have Katy’s denim ’fit immortalized on TV.
9:05 PM – Did Nicki not change in time? IDK!!! She recovered v. well, IMHO.
9:01 PM – Bang, bang, y’all. These matching monochrome outfits between Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj are the besttt.
8:59 PM – Eep! Time to head into the show!
8:58 PM – OMG KATY AND RIFF RAFF DID THE BRITNEY JUSTIN DENIM 2001 AMA MOMENT. I’m dead. R.I.P. me. Bury me in the parking lot by The Forum. Bye.
8:47 PM – Wow, Rita’s been swaddled in the most impressive custom Donna Karan atelier gown–super thin silk fluttering off her body like she’s walking with her own personal wind machine. Bow.
8:07 PM – The Kardashians are here, and Kylie is wearing exactly what I wanted to wear. :(
8:35 – Demi is a bombshell in Lanvin. Wow. Low low cut, red, long, and glamorous, but not old looking. At all.
8:34 PM – J.Lo’s dress in person looks like straight up magic. I’ve never seen something that glitters so much in my life.
8:24 PM – OK, also going to need a tutorial for Kelly Rowland’s braid crown. HOW?!
8:23 PM – I see Mileyyyy. She’s in Alexandre Vauthier–a bandeau top and the shiniest silver shoes.
8:15 PM – Wow. Wow. I was NOT expecting this hot pants bodysuit from Taylor Swift.
8:11 PM – I may have just accidentally stepped on Nick Young’s silver brogues and am going to regret it for eternity.
8:10 PM – I-g-g-y arrived looking like a GD CYBORG in Atelier Versace. Slicked back hair, mirrored silver gown.
8:07 PM – Gwenabees, your queen is here in hot, HOT pink. Is it L.A.M.B.? It is!
8:01 PM – Oh. My. Gosh. Nicki Minaj is here. The crowd can’t decide whether it wants to chant her name or “Baby Got Back.” TBH, I can’t either. She’s in gold animal print, and it’s so wild but so tame compared to that 2011 candy raver joint.
7:59 PM – I would like a tutorial on how to make Kiesza’s braided pompadour. And how to not look like Minnie Mouse while wearing a large bow–she’s an apparent expert at both of those things.
7:54 PM – The carpet slowed down for a bit, which made for a HUGE welcome for Sam Smith, who is Gucci suited and booted (but no tie because, hi, this is the VMAs).
7:46 PM – Solange wasn’t kidding about taking a break from those prints. She’s in all black and navy, solid but still sparkly. Also, NBD, her eyelashes are RED. WHAT?!
7:44 PM – Chanel Iman–another Yonce girl, BTW–is also in Balmain.
7:40 PM – Angel Haze and Ireland Baldwin just might win for cutest couple. Also, Angel is in ALL of the coolest designers: helmut lang, Raf Simons, Alexander Wang.
7:37 PM – I would kill to be wearing Holland Roden’s dress right now. White, mesh, BREATHABLE, which is essential out here where I am drowning in my own sweat.